About a month ago someone complimented me by saying that I was "a good worker". This was a well-intentioned comment. However, the feeling it left me with was not positive. I was not being recognized for my work ethic, instead, for my role as a high-functioning cog in the wheel that is capitalism. This compliment and recognition has played a significant role in the recent excavating I have been doing to find (under all the layers of expectations and identities that others have of me and for me) the self that is supposed to be shining in this world. And I wonder, what would it be like to be complimented for being "a good relaxer", "a creator”, "a lover"? It has become very clear that the hustle continues. My hustle for worthiness. My hustle for love. My hustle for acceptance. I say in class often, "we are worthy of love not because of our doing but because of our being". What if I knew this to be true for myself?
As I look at my calendar for the rest of the year and into 2018 I realize that the hustle has become a part of my identity. A layer that is preventing me from getting to the shining self-laying beneath the expectations and identities that are not my own. An identity that I want to release. A layer I want to shed. I do not want to be known for being a, "good worker" or a "busy" person. I don't want a full calendar. I want to be a person who prioritizes my relationship with spirit, with my sweet l’il family of Michael and Mallory, and my relationship with my self as a creator. So, I WILL BE a person who priorities my relationship with spirit, my family and creating. To ensure I am as present as possible, for this part of my journey, and for being open to the transformative power of this time, I am saying no to adding more to my calendar, if it doesn't fall into one of my 3 priorities (or going through serious processing prior to saying yes). I trust that this will allow me to show up more beautifully for myself and others!
I write this as an introduction into my new role as Co-Director at SKY with nervousness. After leaving an incredible job in Business Development at Apple, where I was recognized for my skill in Drive for Results, Action Orientation, and Command Skills I wonder, how can I bring that to the table, to my colleagues, to you, our community in a way that is aligned with my personal goal and one of our goals as an organization of finding and living in my purpose, my dharma and supporting others as they live in theirs. I see this as a challenge, an opportunity. What is possible if we at SKY, the leaders of, the folks who enter our doors every day and those that are impacted by this work, were able to live in the knowing that we no longer have to hustle for worthiness? To practice day in and day out, so that we know in the core of our beings, that we no longer need to hustle for love? So, I invite you to join me in considering, what are your unique gifts, talents, and passions? What is your purpose? Your dharma? What layers do you need to shed to allow the bright shining light that is your beautiful self to shine as brightly as possible?
Thank you for journeying with me. Thank you for helping me learn it's ok to say no, to disappoint people, to not meet other’s expectations and... to give up the hustle. Thank you for helping SKY be a model of what it looks like and to create space to experience love, connection and mutual healing. We are worthy. Not because of our doing… simply because of our being.
If you or someone you know has an offering, a way of shining a unique, bright light into this world and are interested sharing with our community please submit a workshop proposal here. We are planning 2018 and look forward to experiencing the creative, innovative and healing ways our community will show up through programming!